Reliance

The first day of 2020, before COVID radically changed my routine and plans in Swazi, I stood in a circle holding hands with 20+ girls as we all shared our “word” for 2020. Usually when I’m put on the spot like that my mind goes blank, and I end up making something up. But the word “Reliance” rang through my mind as I listened to all the other girls share theirs. Reliance. I wanted so badly to rely more fully and completely on Jesus. Not on my own plans, not on a future career, not on a close family member or friend, not on the comfort and pleasures all the world, especially the United States, has to offer. No, I wanted to rely more on the One who created me, the One who foresaw all my sin and said, “I still love you, I’ll still die for you.” Little did I know that God was planning to put me to the test just 2 months later, when COVID affected all my plans. Those months in quarantine, and the uncertainty that followed it, helped me to truly rely more on Jesus. More on His plan and purposes. I learned to rely on Him to comfort me when I was lonely, to keep me strong when poor decisions and heartbreak was taking place back home, and to provide for me in whatever was going to happen next. Man, God never ceases to amaze me. How incredible it is to worship and praise the One True God, who surpasses all understanding. Never will I tire of witnessing His grace, goodness, provision, and miracles.

I have loved building friendships, having really awesome conversations about Jesus and faith, experiencing God at work, and growing in my own faith. And now, for the news friends… I was able to get a flight back to the States at the beginning of October! I am beyond excited to be reunited with family and friends and cannot wait to share all that God has been teaching me. As exciting as it is to think about going “home”, I know how hard it is going to be for both me and the girls to leave Swaziland. A few months back I had shared with the girls something I had been reading about in my personal devotions, it had been discussing the topic of Heaven being our true home and how we are called to be “Christ’s Ambassadors ”. I belong to the Kingdom of Heaven. That is my true home. I have never felt fully satisfied here on this earth, and it’s because I’m not meant to be. This place isn’t my home. I don’t belong here. As a child of the King, I’m made for more. It had got me thinking about the mixed emotions I have felt for Swaziland and the U.S. (my “home”). I have served here and given my all, while also knowing that this country is not my home. I realized that I needed to treat the U.S. the way I treat Swaziland. Serve well, love people, don’t worry about the little things, pray about every decision and invite the Lord into all situations I face, while awaiting and longing for home at the same time. My real home. Heaven. I needed to long for Heaven the way I longed for the U.S. So yes, I may be coming “home” to a big Schoolhouse with about the same amount of people I was living with in Swaziland (with a little less estrogen 😉) but I’m going to treat it as I treated my year in Swazi. Awaiting something better, and in the meantime, allowing the Holy Spirit to live out my life for God’s glory. In everything I do, whether on a mission trip, or right in my own home, I’m going to do it all for the glory of my God and King.